Changing your Thoughts will Change your Life

Shifting negative thoughts - How to stop negative thinking and shift your mindset

Have you ever noticed how your thoughts influence your mood, behavior, and even your relationships? When I was introduced to Aaron Beck’s work early in my coaching career, it changed everything for me. Aaron Beck, the father of Cognitive Therapy, proposed a concept known as the Cognitive Triad to explain the patterns of negative thinking that can lead to feelings of depression and despair. This triad focuses on three critical areas:

Negative views of the self – thoughts like "I'm not good enough" or "I always fail."

Negative views of the world – beliefs such as "The world is unfair" or "Nothing ever goes right for me."

Negative views of the future – a sense of hopelessness expressed in thoughts like "Things will never get better."

Together, these patterns can trap us in a cycle of negativity, limiting our potential and happiness.

My Personal Journey

In my late 40s, I found myself deeply entangled in the grip of negative thinking. My view of myself, the world, and the future felt overwhelmingly bleak. I struggled to see joy in even the simplest moments. The more these thoughts took hold, the more they stained my reality.

After reading an article on Aaron Beck’s work I made a conscious effort to change my thinking, because after all, this is what was driving my unpleasant negative mood. I created a series of positive thoughts that went against my usual negative ones and I posted the list on my cork board in front of my workspace. Whenever I caught myself going down a negative rabbit hole or having a negative thought, or just felt a bad mood coming on, I would glance up at the list of positive thoughts and just say one of them out loud...even if I didn’t believe it...at the time. Through this mindful and intentional practice, I began to notice the negative thoughts as soon as they formed, and by catching them early, I could re-frame them before they spiraled out of control, and before they imprinted themselves in my mind. Over time, this practice became second nature.

While it’s impossible to eliminate negative thoughts entirely, I’ve learned to manage them—turning what once felt like an impossible impulse into a manageable thing I could control.

The Practice of Cognitive Restructuring

Changing your thoughts will change your life! Cognitive restructuring is a great technique which helps you identify, challenge, and change unhelpful thought patterns. It’s about recognizing that thoughts are not facts and that we have the power to shift our perspective.

Here’s how you can begin:

Identify the negative thought: Write it down when it arises. For example, "I’m a failure."

Challenge its validity: Ask yourself, "Is this absolutely true? What evidence do I have to support this?" Often, you’ll find your thought isn’t as grounded in reality as it feels.

Reframe the thought: Replace it with a more balanced or positive statement, such as, "I’ve had setbacks, but I’ve also succeeded in many ways."

Why This Matters

When we reshape our internal dialogue, the benefits ripple outward. Cognitive restructuring can:

Improve self-esteem: By changing how you see yourself.

Enhance relationships: As you start to interpret others' actions more positively.

Reduce stress and anxiety: By reframing situations as challenges rather than threats.

Boost hope: Helping you envision a brighter future.

How you can practice Cognitive Restructuring Daily

Journaling: Spend 5–10 minutes writing about a challenging situation, identifying the thoughts it triggered, and reframing them.

Mindfulness: Notice your thoughts without judgment. Awareness is the first step toward change.

Affirmations: You can do what I did! Create positive statements to counteract your usual negative thoughts. When you sense the negative thought, check your list and immediately replace it with a new positive thought.

The Takeaway

It’s impossible to eliminate negative thoughts entirely, but with practice, you can learn to notice, challenge, and reshape them. Doing so doesn’t just change how you think—it transforms how you experience life.

If this resonates with you and you’d like to explore how life coaching can support your journey toward cognitive change, let’s connect! Book a free discovery call today to discuss how we can work together to reshape your thoughts and transform your life.

I'm here for you

~Stephanie

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